Guys, it’s officially Christmas time! It’s socially acceptable to play Christmas songs and wear PJs with snowflakes on them. Exciting times. November also means that it’s only one month until my next anniversary of getting into a relationship with my boyfriend. And guess what, this year marks 3 years together. Time flies when you’re having fun, doesn’t it? I thought it would be a good idea to sit down and think about what my long-term relationship has taught me about love. And life in general.
Let me clear this first. This is my first serious relationship *gasp* so I was going into it not knowing what to expect, how to behave and how relationships even worked. My knowledge was based on The Notebook, Disney movies and whatever book I was reading at that time (it could have been Twilight). In my head, I was a little princess waiting to be rescued by a prince and gallop on a horse to our happily ever after. At the same time being a ‘strong independent woman who don’t need no man’. Don’t ask me how two of these ideas even worked together.
My relationship has taught me so much. Among being less selfish, sharing a bit more and learning how to play PlayStation 4 games, I wrote down the most important lessons that will stay with me for a long time. Happy reading!
A loving partner helps you love yourself more
I know myself and I’m well aware I’m not perfect. I don’t close cupboards and drawers straight away. Most of the time, I take a majority of space in a bed and tuck the covers underneath myself. And that’s to name just a couple. The road to self-love and self-acceptance is long and difficult, but I’ve been making progress. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have days when I look in the mirror and feel like I don’t know the person looking back at me. Days when I grab some loose skin on my belly and think I should probably do something about it. In moments like these, my boyfriend really does step up. It’s nice to have someone who loves you because you’re YOU. With all that loose skin, freckles on your forehead and no makeup on. Which then makes it a lot easier for me to look at myself and think ‘Hmmmm maybe I’m actually not THAT bad?’
Best friends first, lovers second
I never thought about this concept before I got into my relationship. I thought that everything was going to be perfect, our love would be blooming all the time and we would never be able to get enough of each other. And it was like that – for the first 5 months. So-called ‘honeymoon phase’. And then suddenly it was over and even though we still loved each other, arguments began to appear. We both realised neither of us was perfect and we both came with a certain set of flaws. And guess what, it actually got boring. Without constant dates, going out and being all ‘in love’. When it gets to that point, that’s where your friendship takes over. I have the best fun with my boyfriend because we can share a laugh at almost everything and we understand each other’s needs. There won’t always be cuddles, kisses and ‘I love you’s. But there will always be giggles, games
It’s okay to question your relationship
The first time that happened to me I got really scared. I remember thinking ‘oh maybe I should just go my own way and it would be better’. And it scared me because I thought it meant I didn’t love him anymore. That maybe I was getting bored. I mean, you rarely ever see anyone in movies wondering if their relationship is heading in the right direction. It took me a while to learn that these thoughts are perfectly natural and fine. Especially after a heated fight when all you want to do is slap your partner because THEY JUST DON’T GET IT OKAY?! These moments will pass just like the thoughts questioning the future of your relationship. Yes, sometimes it may last for a few days, but it will pass. Focus on the good parts of your relationship and it will be okay.
Moving in together can be a make or break
This one was the toughest obstacle for my relationship so far. We moved in together after only 4-5 months of being together because I thought it would be a perfect move and I didn’t want to be away from Mike for too long. Boy, was I foolish. What I didn’t think about is that apart from my dear boyfriend moving in, it would also be his lifelong habits (like dropping clothes everywhere, seriously there’s a thing called ‘dirty clothes basket’ for that), food preferences and a whole load of clothes I certainly didn’t have space for. I swear we argued for a whole month straight. Every single day. But we came out of it stronger than ever. When moving in together, it’s important to remember that you will both need to make sacrifices. Agree on compromises. And learn how to live with this other human being under one roof. But at the same time, you get to come back home to your favourite human who can’t wait to hear about your day. Or someone who can provide a shoulder to cry on after a really bad day.
Despite the fact that this is my first long-term relationship, I am not planning on having another one! I want to make it as long as possible. And probably learn a bit more from it while I’m at it.
Love is all you need!
Until next time xx
What have you learnt from your relationships?
If you enjoyed this post don’t forget to like it and share with your friends, it means a lot to me!
Read more: 23 Things I’ve Learnt In 23 Years or The 5 Things No One Tells You About Moving To A Different City
Tags : long-term relationships, love, relationship lessons, relationship stories, what my long-term relationship has taught me
Yasmin Browne says
November 6, 2017 at 9:29 amHappy Anniversary! Relationships are and always will be a challenge. But the rewards you can gain from it can be so much more. I find when you are in the right one it can be so fulfilling and funny enough can make you feel whole and complete and makes you more excited for the future. Communication and working together is always key – to me thats the main fundamentals of a relationships and it sounds like you got the down. Being in love is the most amazing thing and just always enjoy it 🙂 .
Congrats again xx
Julia says
November 6, 2017 at 12:45 pmGreat words Yasmin! I agree with you 100%
emily isobelle jane says
November 5, 2017 at 8:23 pmHappy Anniversary when it comes girl! This is such a truthful and insightful post and I loved reading it! Everything you said is so true and relevant and its lovely to read <3
Julia says
November 5, 2017 at 10:21 pmThank you!
autumnskyes says
November 4, 2017 at 7:45 pmomg hello there!!!! i was taken aback when i read that it will be 3 years for you and your boyfriend in December? cause same here!!! twinssss!!!!
I love this post, it is sooo true, especially the bit about questioning your relationship – it can be good and a healthy way to open up conversation between the two of you about the sort of future you want together 🙂
best of luck to you guys! excited to read more!
love,
autumnskyes xoxo
Julia says
November 5, 2017 at 9:44 amHOW COOL IS THAT?! Twins! Haha I agree with you on that, it’s good to talk about doubts in a relationship to sort it out! Thank you xx
Leslie says
November 4, 2017 at 7:03 pmThis is beyond the cutest post ever! It’s so refreshing to read about someone’s tougher moments and how you were able to work it out at the end.
Julia says
November 5, 2017 at 9:43 amThank you!
Alicia says
November 4, 2017 at 4:24 pmAww this is such a lovely post! Makes me feel so lucky as I’ve been in a long term relationship since I was 16! Me and my boyfriend celebrated 5 years this September and it’s the best feeling ever when your secure in your relationship! I love the fact that we best friends first xx
Julia says
November 5, 2017 at 9:42 amWell done on 5 years! It seems so far away for me but I know I’ll blink and we’ll be celebrating our 5 year anniversary as well haha
Everthing Chessie says
November 4, 2017 at 2:48 pmAww this is such a cute post! Hope you have a lovely anniversary!xx
Chessie | everythingchessie.co.uk 🌿
Julia says
November 5, 2017 at 9:42 amThank you xx
Savana says
November 4, 2017 at 12:41 pmGreat post. You are completely right on many of the points you made. The lesson I learnt was probably different maybe due to personality differences. I learnt when to say enough is enough and eventhough true love can overcome most things there’s 3 things no one should compromise on. RESPECT, LOYALTY AND SHOWING CARE.
Julia says
November 5, 2017 at 9:41 amSuch good lessons as well! Thank you for sharing xx
Lily says
November 4, 2017 at 10:04 amSuch a lovely post. I can agree with every part of it! It is my five year anniversary at the end of this month (only 20- so haven’t moved in together yet) but, as I’m at uni he has stayed for weeks on end sometimes and therefore we have got a taste of what living together would feel like. Also the arguments come and go every year. For a good half a year we were arguing regularly, and we were both thinking is this healthy? But we are so strong now and it has helped us grow as a couple.. I’m now just waiting for my ring and an amazing proposal 😉
Julia says
November 4, 2017 at 10:20 amAwwww that’s so sweet! Congratulations on your five years! Time goes by so quick doesn’t it? Wishing you all the best and lots and lots of love xx
kerry says
November 3, 2017 at 5:07 pmThis is a lovely post! I love that your partner makes you love yourself more, this to me, is exactly how it should be. They bring out the best in you, and make you want to be the best version of yourself. A lovely post, and congrats on 3 years xxx
Julia says
November 3, 2017 at 6:21 pmThank you!
Anu says
November 2, 2017 at 11:47 pmI’ve never been in a relationship so I can’t really relate to this post but these are definitely things I need to remember when I find the right person to be with! Great post lovely :)x
Anu | Based On blog | Bloglovin
Julia says
November 3, 2017 at 9:09 amThank you!
Alice says
November 2, 2017 at 6:41 pmLearning how to play PS4 games is definitely relatable! Haha. It’s so true that they help you to love yourself, my boyfriend motivates me and makes me feel so much more confident x
Alice http://www.accordingtoalicex.com
Julia says
November 2, 2017 at 7:37 pmI may not be great at playing but I’m definitely a good supporter haha 😀
Cora @ Tea Party Princess says
November 2, 2017 at 4:47 pmWhat a beautiful post!
My other half is exactly that – the other half of me, my best friend.
Cora ❤ http://www.teapartyprincess.co.uk/
Julia says
November 2, 2017 at 6:25 pmI love relationships like that <3
Kimberley says
November 2, 2017 at 4:34 pmThis was such a Heart warming and honest post to read! I hope you have a good anniversary my fiancé and I aren’t far off our 4 year anniversary 🙂
Julia says
November 2, 2017 at 6:25 pmLove is in the air <3
Chloe says
November 2, 2017 at 4:13 pmHi, loved reading your post and your honestly within it. Have a happy anniversary and long may it last and take things at your own pace, just be happy.
Julia says
November 2, 2017 at 4:14 pmThank you!
Girl In Gamba says
November 2, 2017 at 4:12 pmLove all the takeaways from your relationship! I’ve never been in a serious long-term relationship (I really like being single right now) but I can imagine that it is filled with many obstacles, especially when moving in with someone. It sounds like you two have worked through it all! Great post!
-GG
http://www.girlingamba.com
Julia says
November 2, 2017 at 4:14 pmThank you! Being single is also great in so many ways, I really enjoyed it as well.
Alice says
November 2, 2017 at 8:29 amAww I love this! Me and my partner have been together 4 years in 2 weeks and it’s also my first long term relationship. I totally agree with all of this although we haven’t been lucky enough to move in together yet so I’m not totally sure about that side of things. I absolutely love the best friends first, lovers second thing, it’s one of my favourite parts about being in a relationship!
Alice Xx
Julia says
November 2, 2017 at 10:17 amIt’s great when your boyfriend is also your best friend! We have so much fun together. Don’t rush with moving in, sometimes I wish we would have waited with that haha
andthenzen ✨ says
November 2, 2017 at 8:17 amMy boyfriend and I are constantly arguing at the moment about moving in together – we’ve been together a year, and I want to move in together so bad but he just doesn’t want to, at all.. 😔 It’s difficult, but it’s good to know that it gets better! I just want to come home to my favourite human everyday.. 😂🤷🏼♀️
Julia says
November 2, 2017 at 10:16 amYou’ll get there! Maybe he’s just not ready yet, but he will definitely change his mind. For now enjoy your freedom! 😀
J | thenellybean says
November 1, 2017 at 8:02 pmAwh this is so adorable! I love how real you are and how frankly you talk about these things. Some of these thoughts cross my mind sometimes and I’m still very much in the process of figuring out how everything works (rom coms don’t help, people). Loved it! xx
Julia says
November 1, 2017 at 8:17 pmRom coms are lying! Haha personally I think real life love is so much better than any rom com now. I’m glad you liked the post! <3