We’re officially in 2018 now. Super close to 2020, very far away from 2010 which I’ve only just realised a couple of days ago and felt really dizzy because I still tend to think that ’10 years ago’ means the year 1999. I’m not the biggest fan of the start of a new year. Yes, it’s a clean slate, a start of a new book/chapter or whatever you like to call it. A new beginning for many of us. But to me, it also means a ridiculous amount of pressure to fill these empty pages of the year with something very exciting and memorable. Success and achievements. Or anything that could allow me to say ‘Ahhh it was a good year. My year.’ on the next 31st of December. But what really makes a year good and ‘yours’? And can you make this year your year and feel happy not pressured at the same time?
Wherever you go you meet different kinds of people – some of them climbing the career ladder faster than you can decide what you want for dinner, some of them popping out babies once a year and some of them just having everything you can dream of. And there you are listening to their stories thinking why on Earth your life doesn’t look like this and making plans to follow in their footsteps. I know I do that especially when I see my friends ticking off their milestones in life while I’m spending my days in PJs and eating breakfast for dinner. Because Coco Pops make for a nutritional meal right?
But does it mean that ‘my’ year is worse than someone else’s? How do you claim a year to belong to you? Is there a guideline or a to-do list everyone else is getting on New Year’s that makes them say ‘This is going to be my year, I’ll tick everything off’? If there is, I’d very much like one for myself, please. But in my opinion, success doesn’t really define whether it was a good year or not. First of all, everyone has a different definition of success. Secondly, well, success doesn’t necessarily mean happiness. Because it may feel like your new year resolutions will make you happy by the end of it, but it’s not a rule. What if you don’t stick to your plans and in February give up on quitting smoking? Does it mean you failed the whole year? And does it mean it wasn’t ‘your’ year?
How about this year we focus more on how to be happier and more content with our lives? And yes, stick to your resolutions and goals if you have them. But don’t forget about the steps you can take along the way to flourish. Here are the ones I will be following, hope it helps you too.
Don’t stress
2017 has been a year when I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom. I became unemployed, felt lost most of the time, depended financially on other people and it definitely didn’t feel like it was ‘my’ year. In fact, it was the complete opposite. But maybe I needed it. And while I’m still not sure how to make 2018 better I’m confident that the only way is up now. I have a vision of what I want to do and where I want to get, but I’m not giving myself strict deadlines. I want to avoid the pressure and thinking ‘we’re already 3 weeks in the new year and I still don’t have money’. Of course, I will give it my all and try my hardest to achieve my goals (or resolutions if you prefer it that way) but I will stop comparing my life to others’. There’s a time for everything and just because my life doesn’t look exactly the way I’d want it to now, it doesn’t mean that it’s not a good life anyway.
Focus on mental health
I read somewhere that one positive thought in the morning can change your whole day. While I don’t necessarily think it’s that simple, I do like this idea. Positive thinking is difficult. It’s so much easier to focus on the negatives. I’m not saying I’m the best example of Positive Sally. I do let my failures (or lessons) get me down and can sulk for ages in bed. But that’s not the point. We’re already spending a third of our lives in bed asleep so why spend more when the world can be so beautiful?
Find a hobby that makes you happy and feel at peace
It doesn’t have to be anything big. The possibilities range from reading a book and crocheting to riding horses. It can be free of charge or the most expensive thing in your life. Whatever tickles your fancy, the world is your oyster. Just have something your passionate about because that will give you an extra boost in life. And if you ever feel low, your hobby will be this safe space to go to unwind. For me, it’s writing. Always been, always will be. I have many plans for my blog and I cannot wait for everyone to see them.
Listen to yourself
That’s right. Don’t spread yourself too thin. Very often I find myself trying to please everyone around me apart from myself. Thanks to my therapist I learnt to listen to what’s happening within me. If something makes me feel uncomfortable or unhappy, I always try to change it. It also helps when someone asks what you fancy for dinner (trust me, I always know what I fancy even if I say ‘I don’t know’). Trust me, your gut will always let you know if something is wrong. Become your own best friend. Put yourself first. If you’re happy with your life, the people around you will be happy too.
Here’s to 2018 filled with happiness! May we always have chocolate in the fridge, prosecco in our hands and lots of puppies to cuddle.
Remember – any year is ‘yours’ if you wish for it to be.
Until next time xx
What are you looking forward to in 2018?
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Read more: How to stick to your New Year’s resolutions or It’s okay to put going to university on hold
Tags : how to feel happy in the new year, make this year your year and feel happy, new year new me, New Year's resolutions
Emily | patternedpetals says
January 22, 2018 at 9:11 amThis is so useful! It is so important to remember to not stress need to be less hard on ourselves. Finding a hobby is great! I think I have too many now though, find it hard to juggle them all ahaha
Emily x
Julia says
January 22, 2018 at 1:45 pmOh no, too many hobbies! I have quite a few as well and it can be so stressful when you’re trying to fit them all in your schedule.
emily isobelle jane says
January 18, 2018 at 9:50 pmThank you so much for sharing this Julia. I loved reading this and I’m so with you on everyone achieving their goals whilst your still eating cereal for breakfast…despite it being a new year I’ve still managed to have a meal of flapjack and banana nice cream-whaaat-I’m so bookmarking it and reading your tip whenever I need a reminder to de-stress!
Emily xx
Julia says
January 19, 2018 at 3:09 pmAwww thank you! And that flapjack and banana nice cream definitely sound like a meal to me!
Laura Alejandra says
January 17, 2018 at 2:05 amThis post really resonated with me. While I find the idea of setting goals and constantly working to achieve them, the fact that we somehow have to wait until an arbitrary date seems so ridiculous to me! I really hope 2018 is kinder to you, however.
Julia says
January 17, 2018 at 11:24 amThank you 🙂 I agree, we can set new goals any time of the year, some people just find it easier to start with the beginning of the new year. But I’m sure these tips can work just as well for someone who’s setting goals in the middle of June as well.
Hannah says
January 11, 2018 at 10:34 pmI found this post really resonating with me – I especially like the idea of success being subjective and separate from happiness. I was just wondering about your therapist – whether you found them privately or through the NHS and whether you would recommend them? xx
Julia says
January 12, 2018 at 12:46 pmI have my therapy over Skype with a therapist from Poland because apparently talking in your mother tongue is more beneficial to mental health. But I’ve heard there are some good ones you can get through NHS! I’m sorry I can’t help with any recommendations.
Alicia says
January 7, 2018 at 6:14 pmThis is a fantastic read, I just wrote a post similar to this last night! I’m all about keep content with who I am this year xx
Leslie says
January 6, 2018 at 3:54 pmPositive thinking is definitely not easy at all! It does take a lot of work to do. I’m also working on not spreading myself too thin this year which will be a challenge
Julia says
January 6, 2018 at 4:03 pmSpreading myself too thin is definitely something I need to work on as well!
Alice says
January 6, 2018 at 1:37 pmThis is all so true! I think it’s important to not be so hard on yourself if you don’t completely stick to goals or resolutions, we have to take care of ourselves and pick ourselves back up instead of dwelling on things. I really want to be healthier this year but I’m trying to work on not feeling too bad if I have a not so healthy day either x
Alice http://www.accordingtoalicex.com
Julia says
January 6, 2018 at 3:38 pmIt’s all about balance! I try to eat healthily but I don’t beat myself up if I have a takeaway or cake.
Francesca says
January 5, 2018 at 8:20 pmGreat post! I’m looking forward to finishing uni and moving into a place of my own!x
Francesca | everythingchessie.co.uk 🌿
Julia says
January 6, 2018 at 10:56 amHow exciting! Fingers crossed everything goes well for you!
Megan Bennett says
January 5, 2018 at 2:06 pmLoved this!! Have a lovely 2018 xxx
Julia says
January 5, 2018 at 7:50 pmThank you! You too xx
Anu says
January 4, 2018 at 6:49 pmI love these tips! Finding a hobby that I enjoy is on my to do list for 2018 as well. Although I love writing and have a blog I want to find more things that I like to do! 🙂 x
Anu | Based On blog | Bloglovin
Julia says
January 5, 2018 at 10:19 amI love reading as well and I want to read more books this year!
Alice says
January 4, 2018 at 5:09 pmI ALWAYS want puppies to cuddle! And chocolate in my fridge for that matter, haha! I’d never really thought about this but you’re right, there is so much pressure on people to make things happen every year and something completely extravagant isn’t going to happen every year for everyone so I really appreciate this post, it’s made me feel better! 🙂
Alice Xx
Julia says
January 5, 2018 at 10:20 amPuppies and chocolate is a great combo! I’m happy you found this post useful 🙂
Holly says
January 4, 2018 at 11:26 amI like your resolution to find a hobby that brings you peace. It’s not a hobby unless you love what you’re doing. XOXO.
http://www.deltahoteljuliet.com
Julia says
January 4, 2018 at 11:43 amAgree! A hobby is like a safe place where you can be truly yourself.
emily isobelle jane says
January 3, 2018 at 7:49 pmHonestly these are such good tips and so important for us all to remember! I hope you have an amazing 2018 lovely!
Emily xx
Julia says
January 4, 2018 at 11:25 amThank you and same goes to you!