Okay, time for a little life update. After being unemployed for a year (very long 52 moneyless weeks), I actually managed to get myself a job. About time, right? And while I wasn’t extremely happy with it at the beginning, I absolutely love the people I work with and wouldn’t change it for the world. At least not for now anyway. But it’s been a real struggle to find the work-life balance (or even work-blog-life balance) everyone else seems to be acing at the moment. So I have been taking some time to learn about juggling everything, hence why I’ve been quite absent on here.
Being unemployed is all fun and games until you realise you may have all the time in the world, but you have no money and are stuck inside most of that said time. And then when you have a job you have all the money (in theory, because hi, minimum wage), but you have absolutely no energy and not really enough time. If I could sign the petition to make days longer, I would because maybe then I could get everything done on time. That is if my motivation kindly decided to show itself every now and then.
I’m lucky enough to be able to work every other day which means I have 4 days off in a week. Should be pretty easy to find time to do, well, pretty much everything. And maybe someone else would be perfectly fine with this amount of free time, but for someone who wasn’t working for a year and slept most of the time, I found myself lacking energy. All. The. Time. On my days off I was so tired I didn’t even want to get out of bed. And because my work days are incredibly scheduled and everything is planned, my days off were extremely sluggish and in all honesty, quite boring. Of course, I could have done some blogging or gone out with friends or just do anything I wanted, but lack of structure triggered my lack of motivation. No aim for the day = nothing gets done, at least in my dictionary at this moment in time. I mean, The Great British Bake Off is on Netflix now, which provides a great distraction from my laziness.
My biggest problem is the fact that I overload myself with tasks and I don’t give myself enough time to finish them. Because hello, my hallway needed redoing, my friends suddenly want to meet all the time and my boyfriend insists that he doesn’t see me anymore (lies) and wants to spend every free second I have with me. On top of that, it would be nice to keep up with my favourite TV shows, get enough sleep which seems to be impossible with sleep anxiety (read more about it here) and have a more or less healthy diet. So I do find it difficult to pencil some sort of creativity into my schedule.
What came out of it was feeling like a failure, a horrible blogger, everything felt like a waste of time and resulted in me being a lot more down than expected.
Am I overthinking it all? Most likely.
Seeing everyone online absolutely rocking their full-time jobs, climbing the career ladder, scheduling their posts 6 months ahead and still have time to go to the gym and go out with friends and family afterwards wasn’t helping my state of mind at all. Was I as much of a #girlboss as I thought I was? Or was I just blowing my own trumpet thinking I had a grip on my life… Well, sort of because I can never really get a grip on anything. And then one day I just sat down and thought ‘Wait a minute… I should not be doubting myself.’ I’m a blogger, worker, girlfriend, daughter, sister and everything in between. And most importantly, I am me. And I am doing the best I can in the situation I am in.
The good news is – I think I’m starting to get a hang of things. Slowly, yes, but surely. The hallway is pretty much finished (HALLELUJAH), I’m learning better time-management and hopefully will get my life back on track again. It feels great to be able to invest more money in this little piece of the Internet of mine, but what’s the point if I can’t invest enough time into it? I’m sure I will get there eventually and I will truly feel like I’m a rockstar again. Until then I’ll be sitting in my bed eating dark chocolate Hobnobs and drinking an unhealthy amount of tea and coffee.
Until next time xx
How did you find the work-life balance?