Today I want to talk about something I’ve noticed a long time ago. Heck, I’m even guilty of doing that myself. That thing being *drumroll* not being able to take a compliment from anyone else. Sounds familiar?
Let’s create a scenario before we get into it. It’s Saturday evening and you’re going out for, let’s say, your friend’s birthday party. Your makeup is on point, you put a lot of effort into compiling your outfit and you basically look like a movie star. You get to the party and some girl you’ve never met says she loves your makeup/clothes/shoes/whatever else a girl can love. What do you do? Acknowledge it or smile awkwardly and respond ‘Well my eyeliner isn’t winged properly/forgot to iron my skirt/didn’t fit into the clothes I wanted to wear‘.
Or another one. You’ve been working really hard on that project your boss asked you to finish. You put absolutely everything into it. You cut down on sleep, did more research than it was necessary and had it finished way before the deadline. Your boss is impressed and praises you in front of the whole team for your hard work and dedication. What do you do? Own it and agree with the compliment or shrug it off and say ‘Oh, it’s no big deal, I didn’t do that much‘.
There are so many people in the world who do not know how to take a compliment. Usually, we get awkward. We think the other person didn’t actually mean it, they were just trying to be polite. Or worse, they were being sarcastic. I mean, who would actually try to be nice and make effort to compliment us?
There is a very good reason behind that way of thinking.
We (and I say ‘we’ because I’m definitely guilty of this) cannot take compliments because we’re not complimenting ourselves enough. WE don’t know how to take compliments coming from OURSELVES. Because when we look in the mirror we see all the imperfections. Or we know we could do something better. Or be a nicer person. We’re just never good enough for ourselves. And naturally, we don’t think we’re worthy enough of getting compliments from other people.
We are our worst critics – we notice the little details about ourselves that nobody else would even think to look at. How many times have you pointed out to someone that you had a new little pimple on your face or your bra didn’t fit properly? Not too long ago someone said they liked my pink beanie and I replied with ‘Ooh I’m wearing it because my hair is dirty.‘ LIKE WHAT?
Compliments are meant to make you feel good. Help you stand a little taller. Shine a little brighter. Fly a little higher. Compliments are tiny gifts given to us by other people. Wrapped in beautiful words or praise instead of a bow and shiny paper. People say them not to belittle us – they want to empower us. But our response is also meant to empower them. You wouldn’t be ungrateful if someone handed you a nicely wrapped present, so why not accept a well-thought-out compliment?
A while ago I read somewhere that when someone compliments you on anything you should reply with ‘Thank you, I know‘ or ‘Thank you, I’m aware of that.‘ Can you imagine saying that to anyone? It’s the most appropriate response to compliments. It shows others that you know your value – you know you’re beautiful, put a lot of effort into all you do and so on and so forth.
Maybe one day I’ll be able to say that when someone compliments me. For now, for such a newbie like me, this is a bit too cocky. But guess what? It’s okay. Because ‘Thank you’ is also an amazing response.
Thank you for acknowledging my beauty. Thank you for noticing that I’m trying. Thank you for being so nice to me.
Thank you. Just thank you.
By saying this ‘magical’ phrase you are already agreeing with the other person – you’re saying that they’re right. You do look pretty. Your hair does look awesome. You did put a lot of work into your last project. So own it. Take this little gift and treat it like an ornament in your head. Take it and something amazing will unlock in your mind. You’ll create a space for loving and accepting yourself. For rewarding yourself. For believing you’re worth everything you thought you weren’t.
The world is crazy enough without us putting ourselves down. Let’s empower each other and change the way everyone thinks. Be nice. Compliment others and learn how to take compliments yourself. And I promise you the whole new world will open up for you.
I know I’m giving it a go.
Until next time xx
How do you respond to compliments?
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I’m definitely guilty of being awkward when someone gives me a compliment – I immediately think they are lying or want something! After reading this post I’m going to try and think more positively from now on when people compliment me, great post!x
Thank you! I know, it’s so difficult to believe they’re being sincere! But it’s so worth it to work on changing your attitude.
This is so true and something i do all the time – its like we dont want to believe a nice thing someone has said because we think we see something else. its only if we thought of that ourselves only then we can accept a compliment.
its definitely something we both need to look to do.
I agree! But we’re so ready to accept everything negative someone says about us.
I’m guilty of doing the same, but I am more conscious of it now and try to take a compliment properly – if it’s about my makeup or clothes, I normally divert attention away by telling them where it’s from or how long it took.. I just hate the attention being on me for too long! 🙈
Andi | http://www.andthenzen.wordpress.com
I am guilty of doing the same when others compliment me. Great post 😊
I love that you’ve written about this because this is definitely something I do! Which is a shame because I’m all about self love but yet I fail to believe it when someone else is showing me love (in a compliment). Love this post xx
This is definitely something I do hahaha, I do try to not do it anymore and just simply say thank you but it’s so hard sometimes when your confidence is low! I love a compliment though it always makes my day and I love to give them out too x
ahh girl i LOVE this post! i’m soo bad at this, especially in a work environment. my go-to response is always ‘oh it was easy’ etc, while completely undermining my time and effort! next time i’m just gonna smile and say ‘thanks!!’. Fuck, yeah.
katie. xx lacoconoire.com
Yes! You go and do that, give yourself more credit! You definitely deserve it.
This is such a great post! I used to get all awkward when someone complimented me but for the past few years I’ve learned to say thank you and understand that people actually mean it when they say something nice :)x
Anu | Based On blog | Bloglovin
I’ve gotten better at this but I’m still really bad at accepting compliments mostly because I don’t like how I look and when others compliment it I don’t believe them! X
Kayleigh Zara 🌿www.kayleighzaraa.com
I wrote a post on this a while back and think its such an important message to share!! We all need to break the social convention of putting ourselves down for fear of looking arrogant and big headed and just say hell yeah I worked hard for this thanks for noticing!
Great post lovely!
Emily
https://beautyaboveandbeyond.blogspot.co.uk/
Ooooo I need to check your post about it! So glad so many people agree with this <3
It’s so important to recognise your worth and your hard work in every way, this is a great post and personally I absolutely love it when I compliment someone and they say ‘thanks, I know’ it’s like YESSS, you should know!
Alice Xx
Exactly! I’m like ‘yeah, go and own it!’ it makes me so happy to see confident people who know their worth.
I used to really struggle with this, but I feel saying thank you makes me truly accept the compliment rather than shrugging it off x
I have gotten better in this area but I’m still pretty bad at receiving at compliments as well. It’s just a matter of complimenting ourselves like you said.
I completely agree here! It’s just one of those things that we never know how to reply. You don’t want to sound sarcastic back nor do you want them to think you don’t care. For us it’s just hard to actually take it in and go, you know what you are right, thank youu. I adore this post, it’s given me something to think about.
Gemma | http://www.anoceanglimmer.wordpress.com
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed the post. It’s such an important issue and it doesn’t get talked about enough!