Planning a wedding is stressful. It’s intensely exciting, but at the same time, it’s kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck fantastic. Sorry, a Friends reference had to happen. Since we got engaged in January (read a post about it here), planning a wedding has been on my mind non stop. I breathe weddings at the moment. And sure, it’s a beautiful time I’m enjoying very much, but I also cannot wait for it to be done so I can eat cake and dance. Oh, and say “I do” of course. But planning a day of happiness filled with people we care about but who don’t necessarily like to spend time with each other has made me think of other ideas. Well, Joe Jonas made me think of other ideas to be more specific, but it just clicked. So… Should we actually get married before our wedding day?
If you’re not a Jonas Brothers fan, you may not know what I’m talking about. Joe Jonas got married in a Las Vegas chapel with lollipop rings months before his actual wedding day. Sounds crazy, I know. Personally, I don’t know anyone who’s done that. What would be the point of having the wedding day when you’re already married? Kind of defeats the purpose, right? I thought so. And a part of me still does think that. But after Googling it, I found out that many people actually opt for that option. And that there are many advantages of doing so.
With so many people getting married nowadays, the wait for a perfect venue can be about 2-3 years. That’s nearly as long as we’ve been together. Don’t get me wrong, we’re in no rush and it only gives us more time for saving money and planning… but at the same time, it would be really nice to just finally be married. We’ve been together for so long now that it only feels natural to do so. God forbid, he was to change his mind whilst waiting for the venue’s date, I could tie him to myself before *insert evil laugh*
It’s kind of funny to think about it that way, but it would help us to save money. How, I can hear you ask. Simple. A wedding day without the proper wedding ceremony is just a party. And you wouldn’t want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on one party, would you? Also, I’d get to wear your wedding dress again (unless you choose to buy two, which is also fun, not so money-wise though) so I could get my money’s worth. It’s still a party to celebrate our love for each other and we’d still be Mr and Mrs. And, I mean, come on, two weddings?! It’s kind of like a dream come true, right? One I’d get to spend with the closest family and friends, in a ceremony that means a lot to us. I wouldn’t have to worry about bawling my eyes out in front of 100 people or tripping on my dress. After all, the people that would be there with us would have seen us at our worst. And then another one where we could party until the morning with lots of cake and champagne. Goals.
Another thing that I would really enjoy is the fact that I could get the church wedding out of the way and then we could have the ceremony in a place we’d choose. I do not have anything against church ceremonies – it’s important to me to have a Catholic wedding so there is no question of whether we’re doing it or not. But if we were to get married in a church before our wedding day, that would mean we could decide to then hold a ceremony in any place we want. Which quite possibly would mean I’d have that Pinterest-worthy aisle to walk down or maybe we could promise to love each other forever on a beach. How cool would that be?
Quite an obvious one – people may feel left out. Knowing my guests, I can clearly see at least good 80% of them holding a grudge that they didn’t see us exchange rings. Because apparently, people who haven’t spoken to you in about 10 years find it a must to sit through a ceremony. Of course, weddings are a beautiful thing to experience and I do not question that. But would I really miss a big crowd watching me walking down the aisle? Probably not. I’d be more than happy to show them videos of that. Would it cause a big fuss? Yes, it definitely would. And that’s just another stress I could do with avoiding.
The way to go about this would be to not tell the guests that we are already married. But I would feel really dishonest, especially since many guests would be traveling abroad for our wedding. It doesn’t really feel fair to make them go all that way, just for a party we could have in England. However, if I did tell people we were already married, many of them would choose not to come to the wedding party because traveling all that way for a party is a lot of fuss. And I would not blame them for that in the slightest.
Finally… What day would you actually celebrate as your wedding anniversary? Would you have two? I find that very confusing…
Just to make it clear, we have not made a decision on whether we’re going to do that or not. But it’s nice to have that option. It’s so easy to lose the main aim of planning a wedding and get eaten alive by the stress. I can definitely see the attraction of it, but I’m not entirely sure it suits our needs. We may not have the biggest wedding party possible as we are definitely planning for a marriage more than just that one day. But I’ll prove to everyone I can do an incredible wedding party on a tight budget.
What’s your opinion on getting married before the wedding day? Would you do it if you had a chance or is it something not worth considering? Let me know in the comments, I’m so curious to know what you think!
Until next time xx